up and down, all around

Even after all of this time (4 yr.s),..it's amazing to me how quickly my feelings about my son and his addiction and future can flip around so quickly,....from sadness, to strength & at least "some" detachment, to worry, to anger, disgust, compassion, confusion, understanding, and back to hope again. I realize that a steady course would be better, and am trying to progress with that. I HATE how far reaching his addiction has been,..into our family, his health, present, future, ..as well as our finances, and relationships with other people,...both extended family and friends. He goes back to court on Dec. 17th for a possession charge and I don't know that I'll be there this time........