Sunday, December 5, 2010

truth ~ trust

I wonder how it is that addicts often yearn for & yes, almost demand trust, although haven't yet had much if any history of truth telling ? I realize that what they think is usually not logical in general, yet it's still amazing how quickly they seem to feel that trust should be granted, despite a long and heavy history of lying,.... so many significant lies and also so many "small" and consistent lies. It really is more logical than it first appears, I guess,....the impatience and demand that's so self centered that is the essence of thought of an addict across the board.
Right now, as I son is at an NA meeting, least, that's what he says he's doing. I am not sure if he is or not, even though I'm leaning more toward thinking that he is, based upon his most recent attitude and behavior. He's also now interested in going to a treatment center in Florida, instead of staying here in his hometown, attending IOP, and working on his recovery through NA. He would be helped to be out of here, for quite awhile, and even a month in treatment would be helpful, followed by a sober living home, step at a time though. However, he has an upcoming court date on Dec. 17th for possession of cocaine, and can only go if his attorney gets an approval from the judge on his leaving for Florida and continuing the case until a later date. This will all be decided upon this week. I won't go into it all here right now,....but he wasn't at the location of the cocaine when police came, nor ever seen by the police or found with any cocaine on him,....even though he'd been at that place earlier. Another friend of his was found there with it and police called my son on his cell and told him to go to the police station because they wanted to also question him. He didn't go and they put out a warrant and now he has the upcoming court date. His lawyer doesn't yet even know what evidence police requested the warrant with. Ugh.... I am so praying that he just leave this town,...for a long while,....and be able to work on the recovery he is now saying he so adamantly wants. Time will tell and meanwhile I'm praying per usual. I hope that he is too.....and realizing that God will help him seek and continue recovery if he's asking faithfully.


  1. Lori,
    I found your brand new blog. You are inspiring me to maybe pick up mine again. It is so hard to continue sometimes, but it can also be therapeutical to write down your feelings. I am praying for your beloved son, and I am hopeful that things will work out for him. Sending you good vibes. Helga

  2. Time will tell...but as Tom Petty says "the waiting is the hardest part". It feels like that's all we do sometimes...wait to see what happens next.

    I'm praying for you and your son along with the rest of us.

  3. thanks you two,....that means a lot to me, I'm sure you understand. These blogs are truly what's helped me keep on keeping on and coping emotionally, along with a lot of prayer.

  4. Hi Beachteacher,

    Just wanted to let you know you are in our prayers!

    Cheri and Wayne

  5. thank you so much Cheri !It's very appreciated.