Thursday, December 23, 2010

only the beginning

I've talked to D twice now, since he got there on Sunday. He already (tonight) sounded SO clear,...said something pretty simple most people, anyway. He said..."Do you have a pen and paper nearby? Take down this number....told me the number....said, "I'm pretty sure that's the number...if it's not, I'll call back shortly after we hang up to let you know.' Even though this is a simple concept,...I said, "How will you know it's the right number or not?" He said, "I'm going to go and check when I hang up." (WHAT, double checking something???) (he was calling on a pay phone and couldn't walk back to wherever he had the number written down while on the phone.) As LAME and simple as this verbal exchange sounds to a person not having dealt with their actively using son ,...I was on the other end of the phone thinking ...holy shit. I swear...his voice sounded so clear and he sounded so detailed in his explanation (I realize it wasn't that complex !, ..but still !) It is always so true....that when dealing with something (or someone) that's painful really get so used to the pain and the dysfunction, that something so simple and "normal" and not painful coming from that same source can feel like an anomaly,...a breath of fresh air......and you realize just HOW AWFUL it's been that you've gotten used to. : ( It was like the "old "D", the original and always detailed, heartfelt, follow through D peeked through....just a tiny bit. His voice was really SO clear...I can't describe it. This post feels rambling and not articulate,..but those of you that "KNOW", might know what I mean. And by the way......the number he was referring to was a security number that I can use as a type of password. Therefore, with his permission (not asked for by us in any way).. ...we (my husband and I) can call where he is in treatment and give them that # as a verification from him to share information regarding anything about how he's doing or his treatment experience. Time will tell, one step at a time.


  1. I totally get it! I would be completely taken aback (in a good way) if my son did you the number, making sure you had paper and pen, and DOUBLE CHECKING! Don't worry any parent of an addict will get why this is a "holy shit" moment, that was my thought too!

    For anyone parent that reads this and doesn't get it...then be very thankful.

    (BTW, be sure to check my FB today!)

  2. I completely understand why this is such a thrill. I pray he has more moments like these.