Monday, October 3, 2011

more info.,....more sadness

Since my last post.....I learned the identity of the young man that died in the tragic accident, and he was another one of my former the same class as the one who was fact, they were best friends.  Billy, who was killed instantly, was only 19,...was not wearing his seatbelt,.....but I'm not sure in this case, if that would have mattered.  It's just all so terribly tragic.  Billy was such a great kid...he really was,....always had a smile,...a real laid back, happy personality.   And now, his friend, Chris,...has to live with the fact that his choices took the life of his friend....that will be a heavy load to carry for him, for the rest of his days.  In fact....the country-ish road they were on was so narrow,....and such a turn,..that going around that turn too fast could be the end of you....whether or not any alcohol was involved.   Just one quick ride home.....and all was then different for them and others, from then on.

   I can remember them both in their younger days in my classroom.  I can even remember just where they both sat,....the things they would say, Billy's handwriting, his freckled smile,  Chris's funny quips. There's another young person that's very injured in the not aware yet of who that is.  A fourth person was not badly injured....but I'm sure will forever bear the scars of that terrible night's experience. 

    My heart is hurting,....for Billy, for Chris, their families, and all who love them both.    Don't we all wish that we could really get into the heads of 19 yr. olds and get them to really know how not invincible they truly are ?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

There but for the grace of God.......

I've put myself into a blogger's dilemma,....I've put off blogging so long that now I feel like I can't catch up, regarding what to say.....many things to mention going through my head.  So,...once again, I will put off getting into it all, due to having other things that must be accomplished at the moment, and I'll get back to it later tonight or tomorrow.

      In the meantime, my heart is hurting.  I just learned of a terrible accident on Fri. night, just couple of miles away from where I live.  One young guy, only 19, is dead,...another seriously injured in the hospital, and the driver, in jail charged with DUI and voluntary manslaughter.  The driver is one of my former 4th grade students.  10 years ago, he was a little 9 yr. old in my class, working on understanding fractions, and now he's in jail, on a terrible path, due to making a very very bad choice, with a dead friend, and I'm sure, a very heavy and regretful heart.  I think of his parents,....very nice people, who I'm sure are in such pain.  I think of the dead young man's parents, and the rest of his family and those who  loved him, who are in even more pain.  It just sucks so much.

     My son knows all of those involved very well.  He was a year ahead of them in school.  The one in the hospital is 21, so I'm sure he knows him too....they were probably all coming from a party, was a little after 1 a.m., on a road that I always thought was a terrible road as far as being dangerous.  In fact, long ago, when we were house hunting, there was a very nice neighborhood that we liked but I didn't want my teenagers driving back home at night on that road, which led to that neighborhood....which is why we didn't consider living there.       I'm so sad about those young men,....they're not bad "kids", but the one driving, my former student, had been into drinking and I think drugs too,...for I know that D hung out with him sometimes before he moved away from here.   Which is why I said "there but for the grace of God"....D could have so easily been in that car on Fri. night, if he was here and hadn't made the major changes in his life that he's made.

Most of these young people aren't addicts, but definitely "party" and drink too much on a regular basis,.....and the young guys in that car are the ones that didn't go away to college, but are still in town, either working or going to the community college.  Nothing wrong with that....but a lot wrong with drinking and driving.  I think of all of the very very risky things that D has done,..and it's amazing that C, my former student, is in jail now, facing a felony conviction and prison, for ONE bad mistake, and D's not, for which I'm grateful, of course.  But it's just all so upsetting, especially for the dead one's family, and also for C.  Due to God's GRACE, D never killed anyone, which is the big difference, obviously.  But he certainly could have, for he's driven drunk....once, in a blackout,....and without a license or permission to use the car(mine) either.

   D is still in Florida and now has just recently moved out of the sober living house, after 9 mo.s of living in them, after the initial 3 week rehab..  He actually moved into a  house right across the street from the sober living house he was living in, since this other house came up for rent.  He was looking for places and wasn't finding anywhere he felt was a safe area for him to live in (away from where drugs are being sold) due to his criminal record,...even without a felony. He found that no one wanted to rent to him in a better neighborhood.  Anyway, he's living in this rented house now with 2 other people in recovery, who'd also been living with him in the sober living house.  One is a guy about 40 (maybe even older) who's been clean over a year, and the other is a girl D's age....who is now also his girlfriend.  Sigh.  N seems very nice and is working hard on her recovery too,....but I just am concerned about D's involvement with her, for N has a lot of stuff to work on.  Not surprising, of course.   However, they both are working hard on their recovery right, that's all we can ask for, and what I want for him the stay in his recovery.  This weekend they've both been at an NA camp out all weekend,...warms my heart. 

   D also plans to start comm. college there nearby in January....only 2 courses at first, while he continues to work for Chick Filet.   He's also finally getting back to personal therapy, in November, with someone that I'm hoping can really help him heal from the past. 

Well...that's a lot that I said, without even catching up on the other things.  But, I will get back here and do that too.

    Thank you all for the very kind words and support on the loss of my mother. That's been tough, of course. It was sudden and unexpected, despite her old age (91).  I am still trying to figure out how to believe that she's gone.    I'll be back soon to try to catch up here.  In the meantime, I've been staying up with reading your blogs....and always praying for your loved ones in addiction.