Saturday, June 18, 2011

a place to sleep, one day at a time

 From what I can tell, D rallied enough to go to work today, even though he still felt sick. He called here this morning, when it was only 8:30 there, at what's 1/2 hr. into his shift. He was still feeling awful, nauseous. He was on his break, which they often have early on, since it's not yet busy then.  

He was upset again and talked about how he didn't know what he'd do he was scared last night. He'd slept in the Walmart parking lot, and how hot he'd been, and how he couldn't close up all the car windows to be safe, since it was so hot.  He did ask if we could help him out tonight (think $ for motel room),...and I said no,...and we agreed to text or talk later on. 

From how he sounded, I didn't know if he'd make it through the day at work,...feeling as sick as he was.  In fact, him being so sick made me wonder if he had been doing something else instead of coke,...not that coke was anything remotely o.k..   He kept saying that he didn't want to at all do anything negative anymore....that he regretted so much what he'd done, that he really does want recovery, which is why he wants to go back to the sober living house as soon as they let him on Monday.

   So....he did call today after work, and was feeling much better physically.  He really still thought that it had been from being in the heat from Thurs. night 'til Sat. morning...who knows.   Meanwhile, he was calling me from the mall there. Since it had A/C, it was much better than sitting around in his car.  And, apparently, he was able to plug in his cell phone in some outlet he'd found in the mall....swell. I told S,....D's currently a vagrant...ugh.    

        The bright side for him was that a girl he works with had told him he could sleep on her couch tonight, he was quite relieved about that.  Don't know what he'll do all day tomorrow (no work) or tomorrow night.  But, at least he knows that we won't pay for him to stay somewhere. I told him about the Salvation Army lodge and that there were other shelters too, but didn't give him any phone numbers or specifics. 

    So that's the latest here. When he was a little boy, I sure never thought that I'd be referring him to homeless shelters, but this isn't the first time that I've done it either. 


  1. I know it must take an enormous amount of strength to say no to your son. My heart goes out to you.

  2. I know how hard that is to just hope they pull through in a difficult situation like this. I admire your strength.

    B says he is just fine because he isn't doing his drug of choice H but just Coke. He says it is ridiculous to think at his age he isn't going to do drugs and drink. I wonder what goes on in their Coke is okay because they would rather have H? Ugh!

    Hang in there, you really are doing the right thing for D.

  3. Letting our addicted kids feel the consequences of their actions is one of the hardest things to do.

    I know it probably took everything you had to not pay for that motel room and the pain of trying to stay strong can be unbearable for us parents.

    Perhaps sleeping in that car will remind him why using again would not be a good idea. I have sent my son out of my home in the cold and rain knowing he had nowhere to go. I do what I know I can live with.

    I pray he finds his way back to the sober living house on Monday and for peace of mind for you.

  4. thank you everyone,...I really appreciate your feedback. It means a lot. And yes, it's so damn hard to do that....put them out into the street, but I knew that this time, I just couldn't cave in and smooth out the consequences of his actions.

  5. You are the best mom ever! Remember that. I am so proud of you. From the bottom of my heart, God bless you. :)

  6. I know from experience that our addict children are so resourceful. Of course, they try the easy way first (the parents) and when all else fails, there is always a friend with a place to crash. That's why I did not feel guilty anymore for not helping.