I have become quite the blogging procrastinator,....not really due to anything about D, but more because I've been overwhelmed with school work , tasks of life, etc.. Since I last posted, we did call and speak with the house manager where D lives in the sober living place in FLA., and according to him, everything D has told me is true. Hooray for that one. He remains on the lower level of freedom, appropriately so, and isn't bitching about that, so that's good.
At first, when he got back there, from what we could tell via phone calls, plus talking to the house manager, D seemed to be continuing to fight depression and was really feeling tired and down in the dumps and very regretful and somewhat overwhelmed by all that he'd done. I also think (in my personal opinion and from experience w/him) that until a lot of that crap got out of his system all the way....he was going to continue to feel depressed and tired. Finally, yesterday, when I spoke with him....and no, I really don't speak to him daily, but probably text with him almost daily.....he sounded really good, pretty upbeat and motivated, with energy.
D even did reschedule his dr.s appt., which an almost 20 yr. old should be doing, of course, but you know what I mean. Such things before were not what he seemed to be able to get done, no matter what amount of time available he had. He's continuing to work 5 or usually 6 days per week at Chik Filet and it's 8 to 4, so that is a great schedule for him, allowing him to go to meetings at night.
Once he went to the dr.(psychiatrist) , he even initiated asking him about a referral to a different therapist, for he says that he knows that he still has so much work to do to get to the root of what has been painful for him and is ready to do it. He's told me that the therapist he's been seeing only does EMDR with him (although that's been good) but doesn't really get into any root things, real work on childhood hurts, the past, etc.. Amazingly, after ALL of the therapists he's seen and all of the treatment he's been through, he's not really gotten into any type of deep work like that too much. He has some, but not consistently and he knows it's necessary. Additionally, he was given a presciption for Naltrexone that he hasn't filled yet. I've been researching it, and haven't found anything but positive information on it. If anyone reading this has any experience with using it for addiction, I'd welcome your feedback and love to know how it's worked (or not ) for your situation.
Meanwhile, in relation to the title of this post....my husband and I are about to go next door to a cook out at the home of our neighbors....they've lived next door now for about 9 mo.s. Just so happens that the husband is a police sargeant....they got the house on a short sale when our former neighbors got divorced. (don't even get me started about how much that's happening around here....so many people losing their former equity : ( , plus it doesn't help the property values of the rest of us...ugh).
Well,....just so happens.....Chris (the next door neighbor cop) works in the precinct(of this whole very large city where we live) where D was arrested last fall. Actually, D was never found at the scene but a warrant was issued and he turned himself in. Therefore, I'm SURE that Chris knows about it...with a warrant being served at the address next door to him....and probably knows the officer who may testify against D this coming Tues. in court, June 7th. What are the odds that she (a female police officer) may even be at the cookout ? This is all too much for me, but in the theme of being a decent neighbor, S (my husband) has convinced me to go over to the cookout...at least for awhile. I KNOW that D was the one that totally initiated the incidents of all of his involvement with police...of COURSE he did. But....ugh,....so many things have occurred with the police that honestly, have changed the way I view them...and not for the better. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at them differently again, at least not the ones in our city...maybe with time.
Of course, these neighbors just so happen to just love my husband....always always talking to him in the driveway, etc.. My husband is one of those guys that everyone likes like that...he really is. (you know he must be a good guy to get along with me this many years right ?) I swear, since D's last arrest last November, and then with him leaving for rehab. in December, especially with it being winter, I've barely said much at all to any neighbor. I just kind of shut people out, ...I'm sure other parents of addicts that may be reading this can relate to that at some level.
So....I'll let you know how it goes. I just am hoping that one of his buddies doesn't stop by the cookout at the end of his shift, coming in in uniform.....oy. I swear I have police PTSD. Too many times, too much pain...with police involved...it's definitely an association that I have viscerally, even if I can reason it out in a better way intellectually.
Thinking of and praying for you and yours..........