So....the prosecutor and D's attorney made a deal, as is often how it goes, prior to entering the courtrooom,...and D took it. D plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of poss. of drug paraphernalia, and was therefore was convicted of it. Obviously, that was much much better than the previous charge,..and a very good outcome, considering what the possibilities were. We waited outside the courtroom for over 3 hr.s. At least I graded papers for school the whole time....D paced and sat,...S(my husband) sat and also read a magazine a bit. We've done this drill before, sadly enough...which is why I had the schoolwork with me,...I knew it could be a long time 'til we got in there.
Even though I knew what would happen (which was actually good) once we got in that courtroom, once D went up before the bench w/his attorney, before the judge...while standing there in his jacket and tie, looking all good and presentable...it got to me, once again. I had to get out the Kleenex,..it just brought tears to my eyes,..and as you all know, as they say, "this isn't our first rodeo". Nah...not even close. I've been to that damn courthouse more times than I want to count or remember. I really don't plan to go with D again,...I really don't. It still just hit me...with him standing there....years ago, ...who'd have ever thought that he'd have ended up arrested so much, going in front of a judge repeatedly ???? I KNOW we all have been through this...looking at our kids, wondering what the hell went so wrong, even if we actually know what it all was. And of course, it's not just one thing, but the perfect shit storm of factors. Even still, wow...this much pain isn't what we still would have expected.
Anyway, I got off my original theme here of D's outcome today being a good one....for it was. He was very thrilled and relieved and knew just how much of a break he'd received. His resulting penalty was only 25 hr.s of comm. svc. (can be done in FLA.), 1 yr. suspended sentence w/ 2 yr.s good behavior. Could D actually behave well for 2 whole years?? AND, no fine (yaay) with only court costs due by 6 mo.s from now.
The 3 of us went out to lunch together, and it was nice. A rare moment, especially these days. Then I went with D to T.J Maxx and he got some shorts...he was thrilled, and he always did love a bargain. I know people do, but I never find anything in there for myself, unfortunately.
Tonight, early evening, I drove D back to the airport and he flew out, back to FLA.. In fact, he should be landing in about an hour. He's in the new sober living house, and the house manager says that he plans to even drive to and from work with D every day....since, as you know...it's only been 5 days since he's used. : ( And that's IF I have the facts right...who the hell knows...not me.
I am still grateful for what happened in court today,...for I know that D getting a felony and going to jail couldn't do anything good for him vs. what he's attempting to do in sober living, working etc.. At least, I don't think it could. At the same time, I know that the demon of addiction lives within him, and I'm so unsure of what will happen to him in the near or distant future.
And that's what we all have to live with ...and get so used to...the uncertainty of it all for their (and our) future. Acceptance of the unknown or possible future pain is what it is. Acceptance is always the key....so it is.