Saturday, April 16, 2011

time together...healing old wounds

We're in Florida, on D's now "home turf", waiting, for him to meet us at the hotel, after his day at work. He picked us up at the airport when we flew in last night at 11:15 p.m., so proud to be the one to get us in his "new" car.  Oh believe me,..there's nothing new about this car ! : (   Believe me, until not that long ago, we always had one car that wasn't so swell,...our whole husband always drove it, wanting me in the better one with the kids. But this is definitely a rough start of a car, and I was nervous in the back seat as he drove us back to the hotel, as I was without a seat belt,..(that I couldn't find) and normally always wear. The car is white, with a silver colored hood and pink mirrors and what I felt was the dirtiest windshield I'd seen...which does not help with visibility, yikes !  I guess that's what can happen when his dad is 5 states away and his impulsive addict self goes ahead and gets a car that the mechanic with him said was a POS. Ugh.   It's not the issue that the car is unattractive..not that at all,...but that such cars always end up costing you SO much money.

    Meanwhile, though, D is SO excited that we're's very obvious in everything he is doing and saying. He's got a pass from where he lives at the sober living house and is staying with us here at the hotel. He suggested the restaurant that we're about to go to,...not something he can normally afford to do. It should be nice.    We're also going to get to go to see where he lives, tomorrow or the next day, which we're very interested to see.   We're looking so forward to spending this time with him, drama free.  It's very overdue and will feel sweet to all 3 of us.

   I'll write again to let you know how it goes.  Meanwhile, we're in a beautiful setting here on the beach, looking at the Gulf of Mexico. First time I've ever seen it.   I'm so glad he feels so more "safe" here. That's a big blessing.

  Continuing to pray for you and those affected by addiction. 



  1. It is always so helpful to read posts of children (especially D's age) doing so well. I am still astonished that he is willing to go so far away to get help. I can't wait for the day that mine is willing to do that.

    Have a wonderful 3 days. Enjoy!!!!

  2. Have a great time and enjoy each as it comes. No holding your breath or looking for those things we come so adept at screening for with their every motion.

    Enjoy the day.

  3. Dad,...exactly what we're doing, and it's so very nice.

    Tori, the thing is...about him being willing to go so far away,.....him coming back home into our area, even if not specifically in our home, never has worked for him before. He finally knew that it wouldn't work again. We felt that once he got out of his (only) 3 weeks of rehab. begun in mid Dec., it was way too soon to come back to our area, so he should go to a sober living house near the rehab. in Florida. At first he fought that, but then one night, he flipped out on the phone to me shortly before rehab. was over,but then, the next day,looked at his own behavior and knew he should go to the sober living place instead of coming back home. Since then, HE has changed(thank God) and wants to stay in this area and live his life down here, now saying, permanently. I posted before that that even bothers me, although waaaay better than him relapsing, if that's what would happen.

    I know you're saying it surprises you, and I understand that, but you've only read my blog quite "late into the story". I wasn't blogging during the hardest times before now. He's been arrested 6 TIMES, been to 4 treatment facilities, been through IOP, therapy, etc., for 4 1/2 yr.s. He was taken out of high school for almost his whole junior year and sent to a 3 1/2 mo. wilderness camp,for the 1st treatment place,then finished that year at home w/online classes. We've been through cops in our house, multiple times, bedroom doors bashed in and down, by him and my husband,...and me pacing at 2 a.m. as a night watchman, when he was younger and sneaking out.
    There has been so so so much leading up to what he's now doing. He says that he surrenders his will to God now each morning,and that feels like a miracle. But, WOW, he and our family have gone through a long and painful time before this could happen. I only hope that your son can do the same(whether he lives near you or not) before he's willing to surrender and work on his recovery. I have no idea if this will last, but he says he feels safe here, and that feels great to me.

  4. The story of the car reminds me of something Keven did. Its too painful to even right about, lets just say our mechanic told me he'd never speak to me again if I "let" keven trade his nice car for a POS truck. I didn't "let" him, I could not stop him.

    Like Ron said, enjoy each moment and keep feeling hopeful :)

  5. Enjoy this wonderful time with your son. My son also did a few sober living facilites in Florida. He's been clean for a little over three years and it all came together for him in Florida. He now resides in Miami, has a wonderful partner, a great job and is in the process of buying a home.

    There is always hope for our addicts!

  6. This was great to read. Enjoy every moment as you deserve it.

    My son was once in the Salvation Army ARC program and he worked into a level which allowed him to buy a car at one of their auctions. He drove it several hundread miles to see us once he graduated into a sober livng home. This car looked like it wouldn't make it around the block. Ha! He went on to drive it for almst a year without doing anything to it and all he paid was $700.00. Then he relpase and the dealer used it in exchange for drugs and crashed it.

    I didn't mean that to be a negative for you! Your story just remnded me so much of that car, that special time with him. We enjoyed our son while he was doing so well.

    In prayer for all of us and our children.