Monday, April 11, 2011

not yet.....continued.....

  Today has been one hell of a day...for multiple reasons. I won't go into them all, which you'll be glad I don't.    Anyway, while I was at work today, while teaching, D called me,....asked when I'd be home later on in the day,....saying he was "bored".   Well that annoyed me...since he shouldn't call while I'm teaching anyway,...he could have texted me, and geez...not what you are into hearing while you're the one working. My husband was also at work...D home at our house alone.     I had hung up quickly and kind of cut him off, due to the situation, with me being in the classroom,....and didn't look at my phone again until lunchtime, when a text from him said, "You didn't let me finish,...I was saying that I was bored and feel like I want to get high".   UGH !!  That cut right through me and whoa...I was off and running with the 'ole emotions,...feeling nervous, the whole drill,...almost a little panicked, and only had 12 min.s left 'til I had to pick the kids up from lunch. (mind you, lunch is brief all the time)     I texted him back and told him to call his sponsor.....geez,...why the hell didn't he call him immediately ? I don't know what else I even said,...and I swear, I can't remember if I only texted him or also spoke with him. I know that I felt pretty hyped up.

    Anyway.....a good friend of his,...a girl who used to be our neighbor, came and picked him up....a friend who it's not bad to be with.  So, he hung out with her for awhile, then another girl he knew and my husband came home from work and took him to  a meeting.  Later, they came back and D told me how hard it was today.  He said that he hasn't been feeling that urge for a long time, but being here, home alone, where he used to use (double ugh), while we were gone to was just too much like it was before...and he really felt like it. 
     Bottom line, as far as I could tell,...he DIDN'T do it, but it goes to show how "triggery" being around certain people, places and things can be for an addict.  : (    It also goes to show why D can't live here.  I know there's no such thing as a "geographic cure", but these days, different geography helps D stay in recovery.

  Then....about 3 p.m. my husband got a call that D's case had been continued 'til May 25th !  So, we flew him up here for court tomorrow for nothing,....well, not for nothing, ..we did get to see him. And now we know that we will also be leaving on Fri. night to go down to Fla. to visit too.   Unfortunately, we've only been able to get an answer to our questions via e-mail thus far.  His attorney's paralegal said that they'd "just received" the discovery from the prosecution, it's being continued.   I have no idea as to what that actually is,...and thought that they'd received that before,...which was the arresting officer's statement.  Of course, my mind reels and wonders if now they have cell phone text records or something like that.   Yes, yes...I know it's all out of my control.  It's being sent to D, so we should soon know, or we can get more info. tomorrow,....I guess.

  Right now, D is out with a friend  at a least that's what he said, and I hope it's true. He did hang out with us this evening....and went to a 10 p.m. movie.  He flies back out tomorrow night.  And then, we'll be down there to see him and where he lives, etc. by the weekend, and spend some time with him.
     So, for the moment, I'm planning to spend some time with him tomorrow, which will really be nice. I took off the day from work anyway, since it had already been planned.  I could use it.

   to be continued......


  1. The emotions we go through....even when their sober??? I wonder when my son becomes sober will there ever be any peace? I hate this disease.

  2. Oh Geez, this was tough to read. At least he told you how he was feeling...he could have easily just used and denied it.

    This is such a hard life for all of us :(