oh man,...especially after what I last posted about triggers and the addict brain....must my son provide an example of it just days later? Sigh. I knew that something wasn't right with him the past couple of days. He sounded different on the phone and his daily call to say hi had changed....I just could tell,....you know. Anyway, today he called and told me he was doing well now,...but he hadn't been for the past couple of days. Apparently, he got a phone call, and since he'd deleted all of those old "contacts/bad numbers",...he didn't know who it was calling, and answered. Obviously, he did know it was someone from our area code at home, but that didn't necessarily mean it was someone not good,...for amazingly, he does know many many people from our area here that weren't into what he was. He always was "the worst one"of his close former friends,(although he knew others that were more like him too)..but I digress.
The caller was someone he used to do "transactions" with, asking if he wanted in on one now. It was the chance to make quite a bit of $ (sigh again) and with that....he said that "his mind took off"....and was planning to have "something he could use" mailed to where he is now (!),....planning how many days it will be before he comes back here for court and how he could pass a test then etc etc.. But then, he STOPPED and THOUGHT...and realized that he'd be ordering up "all kinds of pain and disaster"(his words), and called his sponsor and told him and for the past 2 days...he'd been working on it with the sponsor. Not only that, he said that he'd called up the phone co. of his cell phone, which is one of those monthly pay as you go kind, and blocked any incoming phone calls but from those numbers on his contact list....good plan. I believe he's telling me the truth, because he certainly never had to tell me any of this anyway...I wouldn't have known. I thank God (literally) that he made the choice he did to deal with this,...but of course, it still made my heart heavy, as much as I'm also thankful. And all it took was one phone call..........
It is so sad that this will be with him for a long time. I worry so much about B. For as many great friends as he had (yes, he was the worst too) he has a lot of knucklehead friends and over the last year I really don't know which are okay and which are the dealers that he was running for or using with. I would hope the fact that HE went to jail and is now a Felon might detour him from contacting them but that isn't how he thinks.
ReplyDeleteIt is a HUGE step that he did that with his phone AND talked it over with his Sponsor. The fact that he is at Sober Living is great. I think too many addicts like my son get cocky and think they are okay which is how I feel B is right now. I am sure he wants to stay out of jail and clean, but I don't think he is quite ready to do what it takes and it sounds to be like your son is. Deleting all the phone number's? THEN calling and blocking number's? That is amazing - my son is so far from even thinking that way. I say GREAT FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has a job, a sponser in sober living - that is such a huge deal. Congratualtions to him and you!
thank you Tori...but know this was all learned through trial by fire....he just finished his 4th rehab.(starting in Nov. 2007),...he's been arrested 4 times, ...been dealing with court and charges since 2008,...has himself suffered through a lot of pain and he now really WANTS a new and different life. He's coming home for court on Feb. 25th and (God willing),flying back out of state to where he now lives on the same day. He asked his dad to get out of work and stay home here with him the day before court, to insure that he can't make bad choices while being here. He's now afraid of people and places and things that can cause him to relapse,...and that's what it will take,....him really wanting to avoid them and his wariness helping him to make good decisions. He knows he doesn't have any control over using if he gets near it. That's the heart of step 1. Getting into the steps of NA and AA has really helped him, and more than that first, being sick of the pain and being willing to do what it takes to make that better. I wish that for B too. Thank you for your comment.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your story has a good ending. I wonder if there will ever be a time when they aren't tempted, when they don't have to fight the urges? I hope so.
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