1 year ago tonight

One year ago tonight....the doorbell rang, early evening, just as we were sitting down with Chinese food, to watch the winter Olympics. The snowboarders were that night...and our son and his friend were going to watch it with us,...they just quickly ran to the store for cigarettes before it was coming on. (I'd thought....wow, won't this be, nice,...that he's doing something with us ?)

I started toward the door, and through the sidelight windows by the front door, I saw all of those navy blue clothed legs...... 4 cops on our front porch. I called out to my husband..."Oh no, ..there are cops on the porch",..and he walked toward the door ahead of me. As he was about to the door....I said..."Don't let them in,...go out onto the porch"...he did, ..and so did I. That ended up to be a good thing,..because if they do get in, they then "control the premises". They told us they were here to search our home,...that D had given them permission and "it was his room". They also told us that they had D in handcuffs down at the end of the street, around the bend of the street where we couldn't see from the porch. He'd been stopped, ...run from them,...had been caught with a "substance" and digital scale in his pocket (sigh) and also had had an open container with alcohol in it. Well,...we didn't go along with what the officers said was their right to do (NOT), and didn't allow them to come in. By the way....D has never made a mortgage payment....not "his house". We left them on the porch and made a phone call to find out some info. about their right to come....no, just like we thought,..not their right. We walked back to the front porch and what do you know...they were gone. We went back and sat down on the sofa,...like the wind was knocked out of us. We never even walked down to the end of the street to see what was happening with D in the handcuffs, etc.. We were officially over it. He called from jail later on that night, collect, of course.

It is now exactly one year later from that night. Tonight,...it's a whole different story. Our D is very committed to his recovery and working and planning to begin college this fall. However, there were 2 more rehabs between that night and this night....more jail, dealers, and court and clean time, then using, relapse and arrest again. And.....a lot of emotional pain and despair and prayer. But,...I still feel/know...that a lot has happened in this past year and he's in a much better place mentally than he was one year ago tonight, and so am I. I continue to be grateful for the progress that's happened this past year.....and pray that he continues to be in recovery......