I don't have much in the way of news or drama....isn't that a great thing?? I remember, not so long ago,....and for sooooo long before that, thinking how we couldn't go more than a couple of days without some type of D drama or negative event,...that's not at all an exaggeration. I just heard from him this morning via phone, as I do usually once per day, and he was just saying hi, up early (another amazing miracle), having just done some laundry. He did ask when his next spending $ was coming, and that he'd lent his last $20 to another guy at the house, for gas to get to a meeting. So, yes, we are currently still supporting him with money, since he doesn't have a job yet,...although he is making a big effort on that front daily. I also think it's poor judgment to have loaned $20 to someone when D himself would then have none....why not just $10 ? He agreed with me (again,wow) that wasn't what he should have done...$10 would have been better, and that he needs to be more careful and thoughtful on how he handles money. But, compared to the life he was leading before,....well, you know,...baby steps.
D continues to move in the right direction, goes to meetings every day, sometimes 2 per day,...and is really into them, not because he has to. He still is trying to get a sponsor, and was just told no by one guy he asked the other day, which was a disappointment, but according to the guy, he doesn't sponsor people anymore after a couple of guys relapsed that he was sponsoring. The main thing that is so very different, besides ALL of the other good differences, is D's level of happiness....it's a wonderful thing to witness as his mother. I think that he's just so thrilled that he can feel proud of himself after so long of feeling the opposite. He is much happier in the halfway house he's now moved into,...feels connected to some people there, and also just has some day to day things that are working much better, such as some help with transportation vs. only the bicycle...he's now also closer to the bus line.
He'll be coming back here for court on Feb. 25th, so that's a huge hurdle that could go either way. With how well he's doing, it sure would be awful if he got convicted and went to jail and stopped his current positive progression,...never mind getting a felony. But as I have said before, I'm not going to let the positive feeling about what he's doing so well NOW be overtaken with worry or negative feelings about what "could" or "could NOT" happen later on.....which isn't even here yet. I can't let that rob the positive gratitude I have for what is now good,....nor my own ability to have peace and happiness in my life, despite the darkness of addiction. It's SO much more peaceful here at home now,.....we just don't have any drama or arguments with the 3 of us here....my husband, me, and our older son. In fact, our oldest son is about to move out on his own in 2 or 3 months, which will make us empty nesters after 26 1/2 yr.s (our oldest daughter is 26 ),...something that's even hard to imagine.
Hope you're all off to a good start on the weekend and that we're all moving forward on increasing peace in our lives, despite what addiction does to undermine it.