Sunday, September 16, 2012

A new day,....trying to have a new plan

Well....the story continues, and believe  me, I'm SO behind on explaining the back story prior to my last couple of posts, maybe I'll catch that part up at some point.  But isn't this journey of our addicts and for many parts, ours) usually convoluted,...twists and turns, not any type of straight sequence logical stuff. 

   Not knowing what would happen and sitting with our sad and fed up feelings and despair, S and I sat around and talked by the fire pit last night....listened to some more music and went to bed.  Figuring that D was out in the  night in Florida, "somehow" finding that $40,....which makes me as sick as the using....maybe more so.    I woke up to the phone ringing...early, which always tends to make my heart jump. Can you relate ?  It was D,..he said that Mark was about to pick him up, who's the guy that manages one of the sober living homes he was trying to get into (the good one, well run) and he was on his way to detox....that he was willing and wanted to go.  WOW...I was thrilled of course.  And I certainly didn't have the stomach to inquire (just didn't want to know) whether or not he ever managed to get the $40 and that last high....ugh.     I hung up and then shortly thereafter, got a text from Trish, the owner of the sober living home, telling me that D was on the way to detox and that afterward she wanted him to live in the new sober living home she's opening, a decent distance away from where he was using....and how much she just loves that kid/man (D), and she knows that he's going to get it,...and he's soooo worth it (yes, that's the way she wrote it,...obviously all humans are worth it anyway, yes?, but you know what I mean).   She said that she was going to have her foot up his ass, while throwing in some love too....and if he wasn't doing what he needed to, she was ready to drag him over to her own house and have him live with her and her family.  She doesn't live in the sober living homes,..just owns them and lives in  her own home, while having a house manager on site at each place.   Anyway, my point is.....what an amazingly blessed kid/man (more kid than man) D is,..don't ya think ??   Besides a family that loves loves loves him, at his most unlovable too,...he has a lot of people there in the community he lives in in Florida that care so much about him,...all people he knows from NA, who are willing to help  him multiple times and SEE the real him, and the core of him that wants out of his demon, but has fallen back into letting it run his life.  I could hug each one of them, and can never ever repay them for what they've done for him in the past, and are now doing again. 
. onto the more continuing crazy part.  As D and Trish said, Mark drove him to the detox place.  Apparently, thinking he was all set, Mark dropped D off and drove away.  No...not what you're thinking...D didn't bolt.  He went inside, and as planned, (Mark told him to say this ), D told them he wanted help for his substance abuse and felt suicidal.  The only way they'll admit you is if you're a threat to yourself or others....unless your DOC is alcohol, opiates or benzos.  Apparently, abuse of  crack isn't deemed worthy enough of immediate treatment/detox because it's not physically addictive....and more nuts of a criteria, in my view, this could not be.    So, as the paperwork is being done, into the room steps Chuck, who was originally D's sponsor in Florida, until he (Chuck) relapsed himself...ugh.  But anyway, Chuck is sober again and works at the detox place,..has for years.  And in the middle of last night when D was calling and texting everyone he knew in NA to help him,,...that he wanted to be clean, and needed a ride to detox, Chuck was one person he called. During that phone conversation, Chuck asked D if he wanted to kill himself, and D said no, he just wanted to get clean and change his life etc..   So, while D and the detox intake person are doing the paperwork, Chuck heard and contradicted D's statement of being suicidal.  WTH.   I get it that D was lying  and truly, the one thing I keep thinking is always the right choice is truth,...but then again, why undermine D getting into detox and getting help, when it's taken as much as it has for him to surrender to that process ? 

  So, then D called around again, out on the sidewalk in front of the detox place, and found 2 friends from NA that said that they were on their way to church, but would pick him up and then he could come with them.  That's what he did and then they went to a meeting afterward.  In the meantime, Trish is back on the phone, trying to find otu whether a detox in an adjacent town will take him.   So, to be continued......   Thank God for all of those people trying to  help D....


  1. Chuck is an idiot. (Yes, I just typed that out for all of the public to read) My gosh....what happened to the part of our program that teaches us to mind our business and to keep our own side of the street clean?!

    I'm so glad to hear that your boy is making some good choices. He is trying. What an incredible blessing that so many people are willing and available to rally around him. That is huge. I am praying...

  2. Thank you Annette ! Yes, I felt the same. D has told me before that it's seemed like Chuck resented him every since he, Chuck, relapsed,... & never was sure why. That was when D was doing well for a long time (like 8 mo.s, which is the longest ever for him) , because he was Chuck's sponsee & was still clean then & Chuck wasn't. Weird. Anyway,, why the hell would Chuck undermine it? Nothing surprises me anymore. That's for sure.

  3. Lori, I just read this. I am so sorry you have to go through all this again. It's the neverending story. What was Chuck thinking? He could care or less if D is trying... He does not seem to have his heart in the right place for working in a detox place. I can just imagine you anxiety with the wedding coming up and everything you have to deal with. I am sending you positive vibes and prayers for you and D.

    1. Thank you Helga, much. It's a LOT to handle right now, but we'll get through it.

  4. He has made some really terrific connection down in Florida. Praise God for that. Update us when you can. I love his willingness to rally for himself. I really don't understand how crack is not physically addictive? Makes zero sense. Have you ever read Broken? Oh well...the addition business is a wild racket.

  5. I guess it is not supposed to be easy! But what a good step that D was actively searching for an answer. I've always believed that when they put the same amount of effort into getting clean as they do into getting high, our loved ones/addicts are on the road to recovery.

  6. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I feel your pain

  7. My first thought was what an ass. Really? The kid is back in detox and this dumb ass says that? That pisses me off. Good for D. What a ride he has been on. That Guy should NOT be working there.

    When I was sitting for hours and hours trying to get B in to Detox the first time before I even knew what Detox was there were people being turned down if they were 15 minutes late and these were all H or opiate addicts. It must be very different here. They would never put him in Detox if it hadn't been H and he was suicidal. I was told the withdrawals are not life threatening with Meth (medically anyway). I felt so bad as the addicts came in BEGGING for help and being told there was a 6 month waiting list.

    I hear over and over again how hard it is for them to be sober at a young age. There are so many people in B's classes that are now in their late 20's and this is their 4th serious attempt and most have been in jail and/or numerous rehabs. D keep trying and that says a lot.

  8. Thank you everyone. You are all so important to me. You UNDERSTAND & I'm very grateful