Forgive my non blogging,..after being so upset & telling the relapse woes. Amazingly, I've had another fairly new Dell laptop bite the dust, so I have to "type" on this damn IPad, which isn't really typing to me. Believe me, I appreciate that I have an IPad ,..& love the thing,..but not for typing. I only even have one because S bought me it as a surprise when my mom died suddenly last August. He was trying to do something to cheer me up.
Anyway,..I digress. D did not go to residential treatment & is still in the sober living house he went to earlier in the week. He says he feels safe there & thinks it's the best place for him to be. He used to live there last year, from January - June, when he relapsed & was kicked out, then went into a different one, from June to October. Anyway,..the house manager there also told S & D himself that he thought D just needed to focus on his recovery there (no kidding) w/out going to treatment,..where there is still a chance to use as well as then being in a male/female environment there D somehow always gets involved w/ a girl. In the meantime, our insurance. Tricare, told S that they've changed the rules since Dec 2010 (D's last rehab stint) & since D's addicted to coke & crack & they're "only" psychologically and not physically addictive,..then he wouldn't be covered for rehab treatment. I guess crack isn't a serious enough addiction ?? They only cover alcohol,benzos, or heroin addiction treatment. Good grief. I know there are other low cost treatment places, & 1 is a state funded program right near where D lives,...but there's a long waiting list to get in there. However, it would.be cheaper than the sober living place he's in now,...& unless he can come up w/his $300 part of APril's rent $ on the house he was living in,...we'll probably be paying that too. I know that us paying this $ is not at all what's recommended we do,..so I hope it really is the right thing to do. But there's no way we'll shell out thousands for a rehab again. Those days are over. He did quit his Chili's job,..although he barely was getting hours there anyway. Hopefully, at the end of 30 days, he'll find another job & start paying some of the SL house rent himself. He sounds very much like he is serious about working on his recovery,...time will tell, of course. I was going to write more, but have to go now. Will finish later. Thanks to all of you SO much for your comments & support.
It doesn't seem like there is a right or wrong answer of what to do to help, so you need to do what is right for you. I am hoping the very best for D. Sooner our later our boys are going to get it, and I'm hoping and praying for SOONER.
ReplyDeleteThanks Barbara. As the saying goes, it's just one day at a time. But Kelly's comment on my last post said it well,...how it is that when they relapse,..it gets really bad so fast,...worse than ever before. Ugh. I am working on fighting my fear & increasing my faith. I know it's no guarantee things will get better, but fear only makes everything worse. I/we can support his recovery but there's sure not anything we can do to keep him from going back out again.
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering alcoholic I can tell you that the reason each relapse gets worse and take him farther into the addiction is because this thing is progressive. When we relapse we don't get to go back to start and begin again...we pick up where we left off and go farther and faster than ever before. I have no idea why but I relapsed twice before I "got it" and I went from zero to 60 in no time flat!
ReplyDeleteOf course - those relapses only hasten our trip to the bottom right? I guess - I know it's no less painful for you.
Prayers and hugs for both your boys. May they find their peace SOON and give you some.
Unfortunately, Andrew told me the same thing..you pick up where you left off.
ReplyDeleteUntil one day you don't pick up. May that day be a reality for all of us.