Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The downhill roll

D's not good. I do think he truly wants to be better, but is more depressed & just texted me this : (in reply to my text " How ya doing now ? You ok ?"). He said " not really. I might need to go to the psych ward or treatment or somewhere. I'm at a meeting. I'll call you and explain a little later. ".

After 7 1/2 mo.s of being clean,...here we are again. And I did learn,...that he'd run out of his medicine & hasn't been taking it for almost 2 weeks. Coincidence ? I think not. That's what happened the last time he relapsed. Add in a breakup with the girlfriend & suddenly going off his medicine,..not a good combo.

Ironically, D's the one that told me once,...if I'm not really working on my recovery, my addiction's always pumping iron,..,waiting to work on me. No kidding. : (

So,..I'm waiting now for his call, to see what the next thing is to happen.

Thank you so much for all of your supportive comments. They mean a lot to me. You're all the only ones that truly understand.
And S and I are fine. He is not normally like what I described the other night. He's very remorseful for his words to me. He really is a loving & honorable husband,...just had to add that. Thanks for listening.

9 comments:

  1. I am praying for D and your family tonight. Hopefully D can get back on his prescribed meds and will be willing to go for the psych help he may need. We know he can 'do it' again....and hopefully he can believe in himself enough to know the same thing. Take care.
    Shelley in SK

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  2. The best thing my husband and I have done is counseling. It helps us to be better so that we have the strength to fight this fight. I think it's a gift to our children and I truly believe everybody ought to do it....it just gives perspective to why we do what we do. That said, I will add D to my prayers. It is good that he's asking for help. Hang in there. Love your son...hate/fight/tell his disease to Go to hell!

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  3. Not meaning to 'stalk' you blog, I am just hoping and praying you are all doing okay! Praying for all of you.
    Shelley in SK

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  4. Hoping and praying D finds the strength to turn it around again. I believe him being in FL is better for everyone right now, even though I bet you want to run there and hug the poor guy! My son (who is in CA) said just feeling the sun on his face every day in the middle of winter makes him happy.

    And I'm so glad S apologized - sounds like he was having a bad moment.

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  5. I hope he goes back to treatment if he feels he needs it to get back on track it is worth it. What he said reminds me of what my x husband tells B. You have two wolves inside of you (he is native) and they are always fighting, the one you feed the most will win. It is so true even when the bad wolf is starving it does not take long for them to get strong if you start feeding them again.

    As for your husband, addiction takes its toll on all of us and I believe our marriages are always in danger dealing with active addiction. For us it has always been that neither of us know what to do and the feeling of being helpless stings us to our core. I'm glad he apologized.

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  6. My son also said a similar thing about his addiction. It's a monster, that's for sure. He has to fight it every single day, even after more than two years.

    Sorry, I sorta lost track of you for a while there. But I'm thinking of you and hoping your son gets back on track.

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  7. We are always looking for "reasons" (I do it too) for relapses. You and I would call it life, but for them everything seems to be a crisis..*sigh*

    I don't know..shit will always happen. At some point, they have to learn to handle it. I have no answers;(

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  8. Thinking of you and D - Hope he is doing better.

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  9. Knowing you need help and being "willing" to ask is huge, I would think.

    In the book, "Stay Close" the author said, "Jeff needed to know that he was loved even when he was unloveable, even when he was closed away from us, and especially when he was at his sickest." This what I have come to believe with my son.

    In prayer for all our children.

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