well,....go figure,....things aren't just as they seem, totally. D does continue to maintain his sobriety,...at least as far as we know, anyway. But,...yesterday, my husband, S, was at the grocery store, and just so happened to run into another couple, who are the parents of a long using friend of D's. We know this couple well, and have even been to court with them(on the same side, not against them)...but that's another long story. They're still struggling with their son, and their house was a place that D used to go to a lot,...and it wasn't good. Over that house, much as the mom & step dad "tried" to make it not so, things weren't as restrictive as needed to be,...and many kids would be in and out of there,....often doing what they shouldn't do. : ( S stopped and talked with them and they talked of how happy they are that D is doing so well now,...and how their son isn't where D is. They said that they'd "seen D when he came over the last time (recently) he was back home". S thought.....oh shit. They were referring to the recent trip that D made back here for court on April 12th, which ended up continued.....to late May.
While he was here, I can remember how I was driving in the car with him, and he got a text and mentioned how it was from that friend ,...the son of the couple in the grocery store. I was alarmed right away...and he said ,.."I'm not even answering him...he must have heard that I was in town, but he's never even been in contact with me all these months....I certainly want nothing to do with him." Ugh....now we learn....not so much,...of the truth that is.
The thing is.....holy hell.....here's the kid that is all about living so far away because he KNOWS he can't handle being around here,....too many triggers, he says he's uncomfortable being here,....and he walks back into the lion's den ???? Being over that house...even if things are more controlled now while there, ...he would still be with at least one or probably many more, drug users !!
We have gone through SO MUCH...never mind the past almost 5 yr.s of PAIN, but just recently....flying him back and forth for court,,...us going down there to spend time with him (VERY expensive), which we chose to do,...but feeling that he's all into his recovery, and by all other accounts does seem to be. He's working, but we're still paying his sober living rent, and supporting him in so many ways....don't forget the car repairs, ugh. And really, it ISN'T about money,....but our support has been steadfast while he's been working on his recovery, whether emotionally, time wise, or whatever way was needed.
BUT , I just can't handle his deceit / bullshit anymore. I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. It's something that is indicative of where he is overall. I really do believe he's clean,...but it still calls so much into question about things he's telling us.
Isn't it something,....when they do these things....that we're the ones that feel stupid ? At the moment, I'm fed up.