tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post7946714768998975871..comments2023-09-16T09:43:24.244-04:00Comments on Dawn's Early Light: Decision. beachteacherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14159524928730022945noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-25903581241400526822018-02-07T03:42:49.049-05:002018-02-07T03:42:49.049-05:00I have a hard time with this.. for several reasons...I have a hard time with this.. for several reasons.. it makes me sad what addiction does to families. <a href="http://www.addictionrehabcenters.com/" rel="nofollow">Addiction center Indy</a>pamelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11128134885970566172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-89082147783216049802012-09-27T23:52:17.197-04:002012-09-27T23:52:17.197-04:00Thank you Hattie. That's exactly what I did,....Thank you Hattie. That's exactly what I did,...& he's here. : ). So far, so good. beachteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14159524928730022945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-44852339488088804452012-09-26T08:40:52.174-04:002012-09-26T08:40:52.174-04:00What an awful predicament to be in. We've all...What an awful predicament to be in. We've all been in one similar and only you can decide what you can live with. Do what you are comfortable with - It sucks I know! I hope it all works out and you can enjoy your daughters wedding! Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14316923297817758218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-80123057795298053372012-09-23T11:59:46.142-04:002012-09-23T11:59:46.142-04:00I will punt this question to God...pray about it. ...I will punt this question to God...pray about it. Clairity will come. There is no perfect one decision. There will be pros and cons to either decision. If not a sober escort, what about someone with a lot of sobriety that you might know and trust. Maybe someone from a local AA or NA that he might know. Al Anon would tell you to take care of yourself. So remember to enjoy this daughter and her day. That comes first. If you allow him to come, work it out in such a way that he does not take away from her day and your day as her mother. I'll add you to my novena. I hope you find peace in your decision.Hattie Heatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08210816190213389245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-77668909794143793432012-09-23T07:17:16.643-04:002012-09-23T07:17:16.643-04:00Escorts are almost always former drug addicts..AND...Escorts are almost always former drug addicts..AND they are expensive. Be very careful, really investigate who you hire if you choose that.<br /><br />My son was in jail when his sister got married, so there was no decision to make. They would not let him out. He was supposed to stand up, and two weeks before she had to find someone else. Not to mention all the out of town relatives who had not seen Andrew in years, and wanted to know where he was. I decided to tell the truth if asked, and that cast a damper on the wedding also.<br /><br />Missing the wedding put a wedge between him and his sister that has not healed 10 years later. She still resents the fact he missed it, and that he took attention away from her as usual. I would say let him come to the wedding, but then what?? Have a plan in place to get him out of there immediately. Set boundaries--will he be allowed to drink? What is a group of young people invite him out? Cover every base because he WILL take advantage of any loophole.<br /><br />luluberoohttp://justtobeisablessing.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-749317637901523552012-09-21T22:09:00.081-04:002012-09-21T22:09:00.081-04:00Oh man,...where does one get such an escort ? I&#...Oh man,...where does one get such an escort ? I'd love to hire such a person. beachteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14159524928730022945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-71679470828678622902012-09-21T00:17:07.345-04:002012-09-21T00:17:07.345-04:00Beach - That is such a tough decision! I see both ...Beach - That is such a tough decision! I see both sides.<br /><br />Wouldn't it be great if he had a sober escort? <br />I'm not talking about a girlfriend escort --simply someone to deliver him safely from place to place and event to event -- keep an eye on him so everyone else could enjoy the family gatherings. Yet he could be with family. Someone neutral...but wise to the ways of addicts...<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-70288853302223572892012-09-20T18:11:04.035-04:002012-09-20T18:11:04.035-04:00What a hard decision! And, I guess I am so tainte...What a hard decision! And, I guess I am so tainted.. I would say to D the consequences of his recent choices means you can't come. But, that's me and I have been through the wringer and back and I would about triggers and I would want to be there 100% percent present for the one getting married. Again, that's just me. I don't envy your decision!<br />On a smaller scale, it was my son graduation party. I was sooo excited, because in reality it was my first one graduating in a normal way and my only one. And Emily wanted to come and placed a lot of guilt on me, but I held strong. It was my son's day, why should he be embarrassed if something happened? Of course as soon as the party was over and I put my feet up with my long time high school friend, she called.. said she was ready to get help. I didn't believe her, cried wolf too many times.. I am glad I went with my gut, because she went on keep using for 6 more months.<br />But, whatever you decide, you have to be at peace and be able to sleep at night. Good luck with the wedding! And, I hope you can enjoy this time your daughter! HUGs!kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00270278485457022184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-64693338404998588902012-09-20T07:22:15.813-04:002012-09-20T07:22:15.813-04:00I don't envy your decision. One of my thought...I don't envy your decision. One of my thoughts is, if he does attend, have someone to keep an eye on any wedding money that comes in. Weddings around here usually have a wishing well, or something like that where people put money gifts during the reception. Just having that around MY son would freak me out. <br /><br />You are in such a tough position. On the one hand, it would be wonderful to enjoy the weekend without the stress of babysitting your adult child. On the other hand, I can't imagine not having all your children in attendance at such a major family event.<br /><br />How on earth was he able to get into your bank account??? This just sent chills down my spine. I need to know how he did it so I can protect myself from my own son. UGH!<br /><br />notmyboyhttp://www.notmyboy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-565174264985034982012-09-20T02:05:29.087-04:002012-09-20T02:05:29.087-04:00I struggled with this for little brothers 5th grad...I struggled with this for little brothers 5th grade graduation and that was long before B was on hard drugs but he would promise little brother he would show up and then wouldn't. I can't imagine agonizing over a Wedding when I felt the way I did with that.<br /><br />The good news he is not using right now. 7 days is a long time for an addict and if he is still clean then I would bring him. Keep a damn close eye on him, he sleeps with you and under no circumstances can he leave without you. If he agrees to that then he gets on the next plan when its over and goes back to S.L.<br /><br />I don't know what I would do. Yes, honestly I do, I would take the chance and pray that I made the right decision. <br /><br />My heart goes out to you.<br />Torihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16469486624859667837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-73700296649514847892012-09-19T23:51:54.018-04:002012-09-19T23:51:54.018-04:00Thank you for your comment. It is SO damn tough t...Thank you for your comment. It is SO damn tough to decide. beachteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14159524928730022945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4901597967659101042.post-39020970931626652782012-09-19T23:12:36.467-04:002012-09-19T23:12:36.467-04:00Dawn,
Been exactly in your shoes. I don't hav...Dawn,<br /><br />Been exactly in your shoes. I don't have an answer for this question so I am just going to share what we did with our daughters wedding. Some different circumstances but the decision was just as agonizing.<br /><br />Our daughter wanted to get married on the beach in Mexico so we set out to make that happen for her. This was while our son was active addiction.<br /><br />Darlene and I struggled so hard, one minute take him next minute leave him home. We knew the risks plus if he got to Mexico and took something with him or tried to score drugs he could even end up in a Mexico Prison.<br /><br />Long and short of it we took him with us. He stayed in our room. We did not get to enjoy as much as we wanted because of the stress of our worry. We stayed in a secure resort and our rule was that if he left that resort we'd leave him in Mexico. Maybe that scared him.<br /><br />Our thought process was that our daughters marriage was a life event. Alex, despite what he was doing was our son and her sister. If he got clean then he would be a part of this family celebration we can look back too. If not it would be just another of effort of mom and dad to try living an impossible dream.<br /><br />No one knows the future but today Alex is clear and sober. He does talk with pride of attending his sister's wedding in Mexico.<br /><br />That is what we did and I am sure you have thought of all these things too. We are glad we took him but I am so sure that if it had not turned out the way it did we would re-live the nightmare for the rest of our life and our daughter would never live her dream day. <br /><br />Wish there was an answer I could give for certain.Dad and Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204246139693620329noreply@blogger.com